Man, this week has been intense (and the worst is still to come!). I think these have been the three longest days of my life (though, really, today hasn’t been that bad).

Cross Country is really exhausting. It’s not even the physical aspect. I mean, I ran for 55 minutes today (out of 60) at a really slow pace. That’s the longest I’ve ever run. But it’s not even that the run was that hard. I basically “walked” (while running) most of it. I felt the same level of exhaustion throughout. But Jesus Christ, I was exhausted. Mentally.

Something in my mind at this moment doesn’t like the concept of running for 60 minutes. Or even just running 1000m repeats. Or running 5 miles. My mind sees a big number like that and just ceases up. Holy shit, kid, why would you want to run for that long a distance? Are you insane?! Then, even after the first 5 minutes of the run, my body starts to seize up and say, “Dude, no. You can’t make this. You still have 55 more minutes to go. Are you insane?”

I have the same feeling when I get up in the morning. Yeah, my body is exhausted (my calfs feel like bricks, the arches and balls of my feet ache, and my abs and chest burn a healthy “ouch”), but my mind, man, it’s dead. I’m defeated before I even start out on the run. My saving grace today was hanging around with some of the others on the run and listening to their conversation. Otherwise, the thoughts of “No I can’t, no I can’t” would inevitably seep in. And that beats you up more than any gust of wind or hill.

So, one thing I’ve learned from this camp is that my mind is my worst enemy and my greatest friend. I “knew” that, in a non-experiential way, before, but seeing it in action really gets the point across. Hard.

Well, all the freshman come in tomorrow. Should be fun. I get to meet all my hallmates (if I should luck out that much as to be away from practice!) And the battery on this laptop is dying, so I’m off to better (non-digital things).

Namaste.

Advertisements

Germane Yet Inane

August 21, 2006

I was going to post something completely inane since I now have the energy to type. Then I realized that this would not be germane to the present situation in the world.

So, out with the inane and in with the germane.

Why? Such a powerful question. One we could use more of. The question that you won’t find in any science lexicon, but in all the philosophical and religious tomes of the world. If we don’t know why to do something, we immediately, regardless of our admittance, lose the power to do it.

In life, always ask the question why. Why is life so difficult? Why can’t I always get what I want? Why do bad things happen to good people and vice versa? Why? Why? Why?

If you ever come back with a satisfactory answer, please tell me. And while you’re at it, sign me up for some tuteledge in the classroom of you. Because I don’t think any of us has all the answers. And if you do, why are you holding out?

So, yeah, life’s one big mystery. One we’re maybe not meant to or not able to fully understand.

And guess what that means? You justĀ  have to dive right in. Bite the bullet (before it bites you on the ass). Go for the gold: worst case scenario, you’ll still have the experience.

Namaste.

;\ Piss Tired From Ursinus

August 21, 2006

Jesus Christ I’m tired.

Though somehow, I’ll manage enough energy to post a little bit more.

Life here at college is fun (except for all the running and feeling like shit). I enjoy having the freedom to, well, be as free as I am at school. Yeah, that’s good stuff.

Cross country is going. I’m nowhere near as in shape as I thought I was. Only gets easier from here, right?!

Blarg.

I want to go to sleep. But the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes. 7:30 XC practice, here I come.

PS – Don’t get me wrong, I love XC. I’d just love it a bitĀ  more if I wasn’t dragging my ass along the trail.

College, Here I Come!!!

August 19, 2006

I’m off to Ursinus College tomorrow. Moving in around 12. Then who knows what.

Exciting. I guess. I don’t know, I just have that normal mix of anxiety and excitement like before any big event. The feelings, both positive and negative, that always get blown way out of proportion. But it’s always, “maybe not this time.” Yeah, right.

I just saw the movie Accepted. (Great movie, by the way. I definitely recommend it.) It definitely puts an interesting frame around my college experience. I know that college will be nothing like that. I know that college will be better and worse in many ways. But if there’s one thing I could take from the movie, it’s the sense of adventure that all the main characters had. You know, these are the “best years of your life” (bullshit), so why not make them something to remember.

Yeah, that’s what college is for. Memories. And an education. Though the education is just another form of memories.

Cool. On that note, I’ll see you from Ursinus.

Peace.

August 19, 2006

A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, “How do I know you won’t sting me?” The scorpion says, “Because if I do, I will die too.”

The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp “Why?”

Replies the scorpion: “Its my nature…”

– From Aesop’s Fables

August 17, 2006

You know you’re dying when your memories outnumber your dreams.

– Paraphrase of a Concept from The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman

Going Away Gettogether

August 17, 2006

I’m leaving this Sunday for Ursinus College and Cross Country. I know, crazy.

Anyway, I’m gonna be having a very informal get together tomorrow evening. So, consider this your invitation (I figure if you read this blog, I probably know you relatively well and would love to see you tomorrow).

You can look forward to pizza, a hearts tournament, and some sort of musical selection. Woot! I know, if there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s entertain! Hack… cough. :)

The only thing that I ask is if you want to come, please e-mail me or leave a comment here. I need to know how many people are coming so I can plan some logisitics.

If you e-mail / comment me, I’ll give you the formal starting time (though I imagine a start around 7).

Woot. Cool. I’ll see you (or not) tomorrow.

Namaste.

Happiness and Memories

August 17, 2006

I’ve been in the high school for the two weeks working with Ms. S (you know who she is!). I happened into Mr. Frantz’s room, and you’ll never believe who I found!

That’s right, even after we’ve all graduated and left, Happy is still there! Overseeing future generations of Chichesterians, offering them happiness if they just come together and pay a five dollar fee. :)

Man, long time ago, huh? I wonder how long he’ll stay up there before someone gets it in their mind to get rid of him. Hopefully a long time.
If you want a more embedded picture of Happy in his natural environment, here it is!

Just thought I’d share this with everyone. It brought a smile to my face. Oh, and if anyone’s out there wondering who the hell Happy is, e-mail me and I’ll give you the full story.

Namaste.

August 16, 2006

My new favorite word is “awkward.”

It’s awkward to talk to your boss (who has way more experience than you do) about teaching her agile programming.

It’s awkward to call a religious or political leader on their intolerant comments.

It’s awkward to bring up pre-need burial services with an older person. (What a great oxymoron, by the way).

It’s awkward to challenge a co-worker who has a negative attitude, or is constantly surfing myspace.

It’s awkward to ask a new lifeguard recruit at the beach to prove she can actually swim.

It’s awkward to ask the owner of the restaurant to turn off the TV behind the bar.

It’s awkward to create a product that changes the status quo.

It’s awkward to demonstrate your amazing insights when it might threaten those that are looking for stability instead.

The reason we need to be in search of awkward is that awkward is the barrier between us and excellence, between where we are and the remarkable. If it were easy, everyone would have done it already, and it wouldn’t be worth the effort.

Seth Godin

 

No Luck With Technology

August 16, 2006

I just got my new cell phone today. Nothing all that fancy. It has a camera phone and a MP3 player. Like I said, not high tech, but it’s still new to me.

The only problem: it won’t charge. Great. Right out of the box and it won’t charge.

I guess I’ll have to send it back and add it along with the MacBook to the technology that just won’t work.

Sigh.

Then again, I’ll be in college soon, so these technology hassles won’t even matter. Yippie!

Namaste.