Blahage (and Existential Problems Resulting from too Much Thinking)

September 27, 2006

I feel like puh-poo. One of those days, you know? When no matter what you do, you still feel like you should be doing more. And then when you do the “more,” there’s still a lot more to do. And doing any of it doesn’t make you feel any better.

Even if you win the rat race, you’re still a rat. Being a rat makes me feel like shit.

A lot of this comes from too much thinking. And this time, it’s not of my own accord. During my humanities class, we’re talking about Socrates and Plato, and more importantly, Plato’s The Apology. If you’ve ever read it, you know a big part of its message is simply “question everything.”

Well, that gets tiring. Especially when you’re already in an existential funk. Thinking big thoughts when you don’t feel like thinking at all hurts. It hurts my head. And it hurts my body. And it hurts my “soul,” however you wish to define that.

Add to that a sense of insecurity about life in general, and you’ve found one bitchy son-of-a. I just want a break. But I know I’d waste the break being miserable. Better to be miserable and on duty than miserable and free.

So, my mission, should I choose to accept it, is to figure a way out of this quagmire I’ve fallen into. Or dug myself into. Whichever one.

Easiest way to do so? Act my way out of it. Figure out how’d I’d act if I weren’t all gooped up. And then do that. You gotta see it before you can be it.

Thanks for reading. I hope you have a beautiful day.

Namaste.

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2 Responses to “Blahage (and Existential Problems Resulting from too Much Thinking)”

  1. Laura said

    dave! thats weird.. we’re reading the same thing in my acs class, like all the greek philosopher stuff.. but i love just listening and thinking in that class. my teacher’s awesome at getting you to ask questions in your own mind, and i always leave the class feeling accomplished and deep haha.

  2. Davum said

    Meh… good luck with that whole rat thing. My response is that life is all about perspective. But everyone has those times I suppose. Hope you feel better.

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