Pill: My Arch Nemesis

October 8, 2006

No, not that pill! :)
Okay, so most people don’t have an archnemesis that seems so benign, but to each his own, right?

Let me explain. I never learned how to swallow pills. Luckily for me, this wasn’t ever much of an issue: I don’t get sick often, and when I do, it’s rarely anything big and noteworthy. Meds just aren’t an issue.

But pills are. Not because I hate them. But because they hate me. Not being able to swallow a pill is just one of those little annoying quirks that I have, along with not knowing how to ride a bike, etc.

But this little annoying quirk is going to be conquered! Once and for all. For the next few days, I’m going to figure out how to swallow pills. Why? What’s my need? I have some back pain that’s been getting in the way of my running, so I’m going to fix that with some Advil. But first, I have to be able to swallow that pill.

The plan: pay very careful attention to how I eat and swallow, and figure out the right way to incorporate swallowing pills into this. If at all possible, I’d like to be able to swallow the pill with just water, but if food’s necessary, so be it.

Well, just thought I’d share. Good night.


One Response to “Pill: My Arch Nemesis”

  1. Davum said

    lol… this sounds like something I’d post about.

    Basically… put the pill in your mouth first, then some water, then I guess… what I do is float the pill in my mouth. Then just swallow putting extra emphasis on pushing your tongue back in a peristalsis like motion.

    And don’t be afraid to choke. If you hold back even a little bit, the pill won’t go down. You just have to take a big gulp. Remember, if you focus on what your doing and not on what can go wrong, you will find success.

    And… on top of that… its not that hard. I learned when I was 9 or so. It took me about 3 times before I learned how to do it. If you need any more help… you can probably ask holly…. I’m sure she’s popped pills a lot. She’ll probably give you an answer like, “Um… put it in your mouth then swallow it.” Hahahahahaha haaaaaaaaa. Well, good luck with your pill swallowing adventures… I’ll leave you with some interesting song lyrics:

    I had a friend once… he did some acid…
    And now he thinks he’s a fire engine.
    It’s ok… until he pisses on your lighter.
    Kinda smells but it was funny anyway.
    I had a friend once… he did some ecstacy….
    He tried to marry me and everyone in the room.
    He was kinda loving… kinda caring…
    Kinda tried to fuck my lazyboy.
    It got a bit messy… all over the curtains
    Armchair covers and carpet.


    Kinda like the way you’re breathin
    Kinda like the way you keep lookin away
    How would you like to glide on
    Slide a mile six inches at a time on Maynard’s Dick

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