Thanksgiving Break: A Brief Reflection

November 24, 2006

So, Thanksgiving Break is well more than half way through. And what do I think?

Well, so far it’s been a blast. And if I’d just leave it at that, I’d be good. But of course I have to add another element to all this, another layer that nearly spoils the whole thing:

What if?

You know that feeling that maybe, just maybe, you should be doing something else. Yeah, it’s like that. When I only have 5 days (only 2 now) to do everything I can think of in Chi, suddenly time seems to slip through my fingers. Add to that the feeling of being out of control, of pure reactivity, and you quickly find yourself lost.

This is just life, under a microscope. In life, we only have a limited number of years. A male born in 1987 (that’s me) has a life expectancy of 72 year. That’s 26280 days. Or 5256 Thanksgiving Breaks. Seems like a lot. But not when you realize that you’ve already lived 6935 of those days. And when you realize that the last part of those days may not be spent in peak health.

Yeah, it’s kind of scary. Puts a fire under my butt. Until I get complacent again. And then I just stare off into space and accept what’s served to me (isn’t it just easier to eat the fast-food purpose served by society than to make my own home-cooked life?). I join the crowd suffering from quiet desperation. And when I’m at that place, I wonder what the big deal is. What’s wrong with mediocrity? Why stand out if it’ll just make people not like you? Why try to do great things if they’ll just pass too? Why even try to speak your piece if noone will listen?

I think I’m at one of those complacent perches right now. Eventually, I’ll feel the fire of mortality burn me, and I’ll pull myself together and go out and kick some butt.

Or maybe not. I never really know.

I hope you’re all having a great break.

Namaste.

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