I Hear Someone Else’s Ears with a New Ear

May 31, 2007

Yes you’re in anguish, do you think that you’re the first?
Since when am I indentured to be your private nurse?
Maybe this callousness is a form of love that I extend
Because I know if you face the hurt alone you’ll be stronger in the end
So don’t play off my conscience like I should wipe away your tears
Just let your burdens fall on someone else’s ears
I don’t know how long I can sit with you this time
The suffering in your live shrouds the joy in mine
So maybe you should just call me when this sadness finally ends
and you’re ready to laugh again
Spare me the drama, do you think that you’re the first?
Since when am I indentured to be your private nurse?
Sometimes detachment is the thing we need the most
And if you’d consider me you’d veil this pain you host
So don’t play off my conscience like
I should help you through your fears
Just let your burdens fall on someone else’s ears

~ From Someone Else’s Ears by Stuart Davis

I was listening to this song yesterday, and the words just kind of broke through my psyche in a whole different way. It was actually pretty amazingly cool. It was like looking at a magic eye picture, just kind of letting your eyes blur, and then WHAM, there was the 3D picture.

You see, previously, I’d seen this song as a sort of call for revenge. An angry call for revenge. Person A [unjustly] abandoned the narrator, and the narrator attempts to explain his predicament to person A so he will come back to him. It just made sense: you should help a brother out, especially one that’s really close to you.

But then last night it hit me: person A isn’t being bad, he’s practicing tough love. And even if love isn’t on his mind, that’s okay. The narrator is the only person that can ‘fix’ himself. The only person that can get past all the bullshit he’s made. “Spare me the drama, do you think that you’re the first?” Amen! The narrator is exhibiting an extreme case of narcissism. His life isn’t really any worse than anyone else’s. He just pretends it is. And person A isn’t going to put up with it.

I feel more and more like that. About myself especially. Yes, we all have to play a part, our ‘self.’ But for Christ’s sake, your-self doesn’t have to be some pussy, overly emotional fuck-up. If you really want that, okay. That’s your choice. But more and more, I feel like that’s not a valid option.

And then I realize this post is in a way still an outgrowth of said emotional fuck-up. Because non-dramatic ‘me’ wouldn’t even post this. It wouldn’t cross my mind that I should share this with others. Yeah, but, God, make me chaste. Just not yet!

I guess I had to grow into this song. Or the song grew along with me. Either way, it’s pretty cool to see how that all ended up. Pretty cool, indeed.

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