Subjective Highlights from Cedar Point, Ohio

August 16, 2007

  • Savate street fighting. One thing the French apparently are good at.
  • The battle cry for “Wawa!” in the early morning hours.
  • The realization that we were now entering Sheetz territory.
  • Passing Eat ‘N Park, and the possibility of me eating beef.
  • Entering Jesus Land, and learning what God really wants from women [and little boys].
  • Sbarro’s stop in Ohio, with no boxes but lots and lots of plastic bags and aluminum foil.
  • Near head-on collision with a blinking merge sign. Aren’t those things supposed to warn you of immanent road obstructions?
  • Singing Living on a Prayer when we were actually “halfway there.”
  • The Hott, Agressive Driver Game.
  • Bitches ain’t shit, but you can blow my whistle because I wanna fuck you in a gangster paradise.
  • The sinking feeling upon approaching our hotel [‘Please don’t be in the slums, please don’t be in the slums!’]
  • Immediate greeting upon arrival by “Are you from Pennsylvania?”
  • Lenny’s subsequent rendition of “Ugly woman, walkin’ down the street…”
  • The lack of HBO. Even though the sign right outside said we should have it…
  • Watching The Colbert Report, and being met by my future self. Salt = bad. Vegetables = good.
  • Guy on God Channel being way to into his sermon.
  • Super Duper Scooper! That gay park attendant sure was a neat-o burrito.
  • Being assraped by the stand-up ride, all while attempting to protect any future progeny.
  • Prank calls from Brett. Frank and Maryann will never be the same.
  • The possibility of putting a big, juicy, twelve footer in our mouths. From Subway.
  • Worrying about any Facebook catastrophes while cut off from the Wall-iverse.
  • Cancer salad from Burger King. At least it was filling…
  • Lenny and Dave eating way too much beef, even by Lenny’s standards.
  • The kick-ass water bottle Lenny bought. Though I would call it more of a piece of art.
  • Missing Eat ‘N Park on the way home and the sad realization [for others] that I will live to be a vegetarian for another day.
  • Construction.
  • The unbounded joy of seeing 322 and 202.
  • The sad, sad realization that all future parks are ruined.

I hope you enjoyed this walk down memory lane. Well, positive memory lane. Or rather, how the trip will be stored in my memory for future perusal.

This probably won’t make any sense to anyone who wasn’t on the trip. But I guess that’s half the point.

Let me know if I left anything out.



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