Feels Like Producing, But Not Feeling Productive

August 24, 2007

This is going to be one of the priceless entries where I start off without a topic and then just kind of go with it.

Hey, one already came to mind: dealing with life. Such a broad topic. One that doesn’t need any more coverage. But I’ve got 20 minutes or so to burn, and I don’t feel like reading any more today. Socializing comes later. For now, let’s write.

I just went through the entire workout plan for this years cross country season, and let me say, it killed me. Well, crushed me would be the more appropriate term for what I felt. As in totally made me feel so not like doing this season. So many runs. So many interval runs. So many 90 minute runs. So many runs I don’t feel like doing. Walking never looked so good as it does at the end of an XC season.

All that said, I know the season is more than manageable. I mean, I made it halfway through last year [and then I screwed up my back… what a great time!]. And that was with me in worse shape than I’m in now. The difference then was… I had people that ran back with me. This year, it’s the guys… and Dave. And I’m not even within earshot of them for the majority of the longer runs. It gets awful lonely out there. And awful demotivating.

But one thing I realize about all of this, and the one real takeaway, applicable to life lesson, is that you can’t focus on everything at once. If you do, well, yeah, it’s going to seem unbearable. Because, well, yeah, it is unbearable. Doing that many runs all in one day would kill a mere mortal [and when it comes to running, I’m much less than a mere mortal]. But you don’t have to do them all at once. Just one run a day. For a total of maybe 2 hours max, usually something more like one. And then you’re done. And you have 92% of the rest of the day to spend on not running. Well, shit son, that’s a lot of time to spend not running. Not bad at all.

Yeah, very cliché, but take life as it comes. One moment at a time. One run at a time. And as a corollary to that, realize that every day won’t be like today. Tomorrow you’ll be better [or worse] than you are right now. And so on, to the last day of your life. Existence isn’t static. It’s anything but.

Well, that was quite the lame little pep talk. But it made the knot in my stomach go away, so I guess it served it’s purpose.

Time to do other things in life other than ruminate over the drama my “I” creates.

Like socialize.



One Response to “Feels Like Producing, But Not Feeling Productive”

  1. dave in the back said

    Sounds like you’re in quite a slump there. I hope that turns around for you… its still early in the season. Give it some time. And take it one day at a time. Don’t think about your future challenges… success is conquering the mundane and making the right habits now. Your future challenges will become mundane if you make the right habits now.

    Everythings gonna be alright. Keep in mind that I always get my ass beat in biking races, lol. Just keep going and learn, if anything, its just a really healthy and character building experience.

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